See you when the flowers bloom, Ji-yong oppa~

We all knew it was coming, they even said so themselves that they’ll enlist in early 2018. But it was still especially hard for me. And I’m sure lots of VIPs too. When it was announced on freaking Valentine’s Day that Ji-yong would be enlisting on the 27th of the month. I remember distracting myself the whole day because I didn’t want to deal with the news. But at the end of the day, when I had nothing but the silence of the night as I tried to sleep, tears ended up falling.

It’s not like I’m his biggest stan. I even quit kpop for a couple of years (late 2012 to early 2017) but still did care about Big Bang and him, but just not as much as I used to. I ended up coming back to kpop last 2017 because he was coming to the Philippines and I wouldn’t miss that chance to see him perform live. And now I’m in a kpop blackhole again and once again, he was my gateway.

Big Bang was my introduction to kpop and Ji-yong was my first kpop favorite, my first kpop oppa. I remember first seeing photos of TOP on a random blog and thinking that he’s handsome back in 2008, in my high school dorm. I then got curious what’s this Big Bang, this kpop, so I then proceeded to watch the music video of “Haru Haru” and the rest was history. GD caught my eye immediately and he had been my favorite since 2008.

I thought because I left the kpop scene for some years, I wouldn’t be as gaga when I see GD perform live but I ended up crying a couple of times, like how when I first saw Big Bang live. I remember defending him all the time back in college, even his dubious fashion statements and whatnot. His songs marked certain phases of my life, as with his hair color and hairstyle. I didn’t realize back then how ingrained GD was in me growing up.

I’ve been used to male Korean actors being “taken” by the army but Ji-yong is really the first kpop oppa I really care about. Taecyeon has enlisted, among many others, but all I thought was that’s par for the course. But with Ji-yong, even if it was inevitable, I still cry and feel sad that he’s leaving for two years. Sometimes I feel that I’m overacting but it is what it is, this is how I feel.

Mostly, I’m honestly worried what’s gonna happen to him in the military. Our soft boy, our shy boy. Despite all his swagger and confidence and charisma onstage, Ji-yong is shy and easily embarrassed and I kept on thinking if he’s gonna be okay in the army. And then I think that at least he might find some peace of mind in there as he’ll be away from the media and the public eye, although if you’ve seen the photos from his enlistment, EVERYONE is looking at him. The other males enlisting, the families, EVERYONE. After all, he’s a superstar.

I’ve been stalking photos and videos of his enlistment a while ago but I was still kinda in denial. I know it’s just temporary but WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS I DON’T KNOW

Then I saw this tweet:

And I knew I had to shift how I think to this. Waiting is nothing, because we know he’s coming back, Big Bang is coming back. And their music is always there, I can just listen to them again and again, as I’ve been doing ever since coming back to kpop. I mean, what’s two years without new content, right? RIGHT? *convincing myself*

Anyway, Ji-yong oppa. I hope you get to rest from all the watchful eyes of the media while you’re in the military. Eat your meals and serve well! See you when the flowers bloom, indeed. AND I AM CRYING AGAIN I CRY EVERY TIME I READ OR SAY SEE YOU WHEN THE FLOWERS BLOOM

I fear that I’m not coherent but these are just my thoughts right now. Humor me as I try to come to terms with this.

Weekly Round-up (25): February 19 – 25, 2018

I’m doing weekly round-ups now, which will include any media I consumed for the past week, from Monday to Sunday. I’d be glad if you end up getting some recommendations but I’m only doing this as a form of a media journal (to make it easy to write reviews later on). And fine, an actual journal too. Here goes!

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Weekly Round-up (24): February 12 – 18, 2018

I’m doing weekly round-ups now, which will include any media I consumed for the past week, from Monday to Sunday. I’d be glad if you end up getting some recommendations but I’m only doing this as a form of a media journal (to make it easy to write reviews later on). And fine, an actual journal too. Here goes!

P.S. I watched almost nothing this week but I blogged a lot (like every weekday) so at least there’s that? I don’t even have a gif from a show I’ve seen. I just saw this on Twitter and laughed aloud and wanted to suddenly start watching Blackpink House after.

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Cooking with KDramas (1): Seafood Ramyun in Buamdong Revenge Club

New feature alert! If you must know, I almost always cook everything that I eat since I’m living in an apartment with my sister in the city during weekdays to be closer to work. It’s so expensive to eat out and ever since I started watching my weight, it’s just so much easier to count calories (or fake count exact calories since I stopped because it took so much of my time) when you cook your own food. My sister used to help cook but these days, it’s all me. Although I’m not too mad about it because I like to cook! Although I’m not entirely good at it. I’m kind of afraid of salt and I don’t have the patience to make the dish super tasty. “Season to your taste” is my nemesis. Hahaha!

Anyway, I’m getting off tangent. So the thing is, a lot of kdramas feature mouthwatering food and I almost always crave whatever they’re having. So the same week or the week after, I end up cooking what I saw to sate my cravings. And I thought, why not share it on my blog! So this feature would share whatever I cooked because of a kdrama and if possible, the recipe too. I’m still lazy as fuck in taking ~instagram-worthy~ photos of my food so please bear with me.

And the pilot food/recipe is the seafood ramyun in Buamdong Revenge Club as cooked by the character Hee-soo! Continue reading →

KDrama Review: Buamdong Revenge Club [Avengers Social Club]

I feel like I’ve already talked too much about this drama but then I realize that I didn’t talk about it here but in Dramabeans. Heh. So I’m rectifying things around this block and I’m finally reviewing this adorable and heartwarming show. Go under the cut for my review! Continue reading →

Wanna One for High Cut Korea Vol. 216

This photoshoot looks so uninspired, I was thinking of not posting it but whatever. The boys look SO TIRED, with puffy eyes and everything. I don’t like some of the poses too. Moreover, I don’t think High Cut is to blame but WHAT IS WITH DANIEL’S HAIR? It looks like noodles! And limp! Anyway, more photos under the cut! Continue reading →

Look What We Got Married Made Me Do


I’ve been meaning to post about this one since November but I kept on forgetting to but better late than never, right?

Anyway, if you remember, I was O B S E S S E D with Gong Myung and Jung Hye-sung’s stint in We Got Married last November. I rewatched clips countless of times and I’ve spent the wee hours of the morning watching and rewatching them. They gave me so much joy, this sweet and adorable virtual couple.

Even though I love rom-coms, I rarely get that feeling of misery that I’m so alone and that I wish I had a special someone too. Seriously. I guess I just enjoy living vicariously through characters, without that wishful thinking that somehow I want to be them. I treat We Got Married as fictional, by the way, so it’s just like a romantic comedy kdrama to me. Except that the characters are celebrities I like.

So it was a surprise that I felt that pang of ~being single~ while watching Gong Myung and Jung Hye-sung’s We Got Married. Especially at that scene above, which was just the second episode, right after they met and were driving to go eat. Since Gong Myung drives with just one hand, Jung Hye-sung keeps on taking chances on holding his hand and later on, he does it too. Which made me go “aaaaaaaaaaawwww” and “I WANT TO HOLD SOMEONE’S HAND WHEN I DRIVE TOO”.

Then I remember watching Gong Seung-yeon and Lee Jong-hyun in We Got Married last August and noticing how much they hold hands inside the car too. I remember thinking that Jong-hyun needs to focus more on his driving because there was just so much skinship going on in that car! Hehehe but I still lapped it up. It’s so cute with Gong Myung though because he likes it when Jung Hye-sung initiates the car hand-holding but he always chides her too for doing so because he has to focus on his driving. I like a guy who’s into safe driving, okay. HAHAHA

And since I wanted to be able to do it too, I did the next logical step. Nope, I didn’t find myself a boyfriend because I’d just get stuck in that step. HAHAHA. I practiced driving with just one hand! And I’m glad to report to you that I’ve succeeded! I sometimes have to use my right hand still when I need more control since I’m still too scared and unconfident about my driving in general. But I can finally hold someone’s hand while driving! HAHAHA


It was kinda saddening to realize though that I’d be the driver in my future relationship if I wanted to use the skills I’ve garnered when of course, I also want to be driven around. HAHAHAHA BUT WHATEVER. I don’t need to worry or be sad or feel anything because I’m not gonna use this ~skill~ anytime soon. I do, however, appreciate being able to rest whichever hand needs resting when I’m driving long distances.


Weekly Round-up (22): January 22 – 28, 2018

I’m doing weekly round-ups now, which will include any media I consumed for the past week, from Monday to Sunday. I’d be glad if you end up getting some recommendations but I’m only doing this as a form of a media journal (to make it easy to write reviews later on). And fine, an actual journal too. Here goes!

Continue reading →

On Why I Can’t Love Koe no Katachi | Film Review: A Silent Voice (2016)

This post has been sitting on my drafts for the longest time (it’s been more than eight months, I think) because it’s just so difficult to share about this specific time in my life. But I figured I need to learn how to let this shit go and not end up crying every time I talk about it. So let’s try this one out. (Although I don’t think I’ll ever stop crying whenever I talk about it.) This is going to be one of those times that the anecdote is so deeply ingrained in the review. Actually, the review might be sparse in reality because I might end up too caught up with my feelings. Continue reading →

KDrama Review: Part-Time Idol [Temporary Idols]

So I decided to review this web drama I saw this Sunday/Monday (I actually stayed up until 4AM to finish it since I started it at around past midnight???) while my feelings are still fresh because I just have so much happiness in me right now because of this show. It’s all I can talk about now. So forgive me too if this will just devolve into a squealy mess because I HAVE A SHIP AND I AM SHIPPING THEM SO HARD. Read on for my review! (Thank you Charlie for recommending me this drama! And for telling me that WINNER makes a cameo! HAHAHA)

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