See you when the flowers bloom, Ji-yong oppa~

We all knew it was coming, they even said so themselves that they’ll enlist in early 2018. But it was still especially hard for me. And I’m sure lots of VIPs too. When it was announced on freaking Valentine’s Day that Ji-yong would be enlisting on the 27th of the month. I remember distracting myself the whole day because I didn’t want to deal with the news. But at the end of the day, when I had nothing but the silence of the night as I tried to sleep, tears ended up falling.

It’s not like I’m his biggest stan. I even quit kpop for a couple of years (late 2012 to early 2017) but still did care about Big Bang and him, but just not as much as I used to. I ended up coming back to kpop last 2017 because he was coming to the Philippines and I wouldn’t miss that chance to see him perform live. And now I’m in a kpop blackhole again and once again, he was my gateway.

Big Bang was my introduction to kpop and Ji-yong was my first kpop favorite, my first kpop oppa. I remember first seeing photos of TOP on a random blog and thinking that he’s handsome back in 2008, in my high school dorm. I then got curious what’s this Big Bang, this kpop, so I then proceeded to watch the music video of “Haru Haru” and the rest was history. GD caught my eye immediately and he had been my favorite since 2008.

I thought because I left the kpop scene for some years, I wouldn’t be as gaga when I see GD perform live but I ended up crying a couple of times, like how when I first saw Big Bang live. I remember defending him all the time back in college, even his dubious fashion statements and whatnot. His songs marked certain phases of my life, as with his hair color and hairstyle. I didn’t realize back then how ingrained GD was in me growing up.

I’ve been used to male Korean actors being “taken” by the army but Ji-yong is really the first kpop oppa I really care about. Taecyeon has enlisted, among many others, but all I thought was that’s par for the course. But with Ji-yong, even if it was inevitable, I still cry and feel sad that he’s leaving for two years. Sometimes I feel that I’m overacting but it is what it is, this is how I feel.

Mostly, I’m honestly worried what’s gonna happen to him in the military. Our soft boy, our shy boy. Despite all his swagger and confidence and charisma onstage, Ji-yong is shy and easily embarrassed and I kept on thinking if he’s gonna be okay in the army. And then I think that at least he might find some peace of mind in there as he’ll be away from the media and the public eye, although if you’ve seen the photos from his enlistment, EVERYONE is looking at him. The other males enlisting, the families, EVERYONE. After all, he’s a superstar.

I’ve been stalking photos and videos of his enlistment a while ago but I was still kinda in denial. I know it’s just temporary but WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS I DON’T KNOW

Then I saw this tweet:

And I knew I had to shift how I think to this. Waiting is nothing, because we know he’s coming back, Big Bang is coming back. And their music is always there, I can just listen to them again and again, as I’ve been doing ever since coming back to kpop. I mean, what’s two years without new content, right? RIGHT? *convincing myself*

Anyway, Ji-yong oppa. I hope you get to rest from all the watchful eyes of the media while you’re in the military. Eat your meals and serve well! See you when the flowers bloom, indeed. AND I AM CRYING AGAIN I CRY EVERY TIME I READ OR SAY SEE YOU WHEN THE FLOWERS BLOOM

I fear that I’m not coherent but these are just my thoughts right now. Humor me as I try to come to terms with this.

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14 Comments

  1. I wanted to go back to sleep when I woke up on the day of his enlistment. I can’t believe I’m so affected by this given the time I’ve been his and Bigbang’s fan. That tweet was sweet and has the best mindset we need to have.

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    1. I know! I’ve been trying to be strong ever since I read that tweet because that’s how we should think. I still cry sometimes though. I just hope he’ll be well while serving! Also, sometimes, it doesn’t matter how long you know a person. That person could affect you just as much as anyone you know for far longer. Huhuhu

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  2. Let’s pray that his service will be uneventful and a relaxing (as relaxing serving can be) time for him to enjoy being just Kwon Ji Yong. I’m sure that after the novelty of having a superstar around them will wear off, his comrades will fall for G’s charm and see that he is just a normal person.
    You can also fill the void of new material with his and Big Bang’s variety appearances if you haven’t yet. The weekly idol episodes and radio star were a gift from the gods πŸ™‚

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    1. Thanks for dropping by!

      I’ve actually seen their Weekly Idol and Radio Star episodes but I’ve been thinking of going down memory lane and watching everything they’re in while waiting. And maybe Family Outing eps too for Dae.

      I really do hope he gets to be Kwon Ji-yong while in the army and not the superstar that he is.

      I just wish him good health all the time!

      Hehehe, my post was too dramatic. I was a mess.

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      1. Well, you were feeling what you felt at the moment and to feel is not a shame, but one of the best and most important things in life. Good or bad. So don’t worry πŸ™‚
        Why did you have to say Family Outing now I also want to watch it… but I seriously have to go to bed…hahaha, I wish they’d have a Family Outing Revival. With the cast of the first season. It’s been 10 years since its premiere. Maybe before Dae enlists? Can I dream? I probably have to πŸ™‚
        And I honestly think that Ji Yongie is going to be fine. I think we VIPs just tend to be like mother hens when it’s about him. He’s way tougher than he seems πŸ™‚ I’m looking forward to him putting on some muscle πŸ™‚

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      2. Omg how nice would it be if they the Season 1 cast of Family Outing get together again. Now I want something quite improbable!

        Thank you for your kind words, Ivy! Really.

        I know Ji-yong is strong and tough (he wouldn’t be the superstar that he is if he isn’t) but I tend to be like this, be a mother hen ESPECIALLY if I know that the person is actually strong. Hahaha. Kinda how I baby WINNER so much these days.

        Omg Ji-yong with muscles, he’s gonna be too hot. Hahaha!

        So glad to meet a fellow kdrama + jdrama + VIP in you, Ivy!

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      3. I know right? I want “Dumb and Dumber”, “Small eyed brothers”, “The Nations Sibling” and “Chunderella and his Stepmother” reunited! There are a couple of things I need in life and that is one! I NEED THIS!

        And we VIPs gotta stick together and lift each other up sweetie, so no worries πŸ™‚ And I’m a guilty mother hen as well….so ah yeah…and when he comes back with muscles, that will cause a massive nosebleed in the female population πŸ˜‰

        And OMG I’m the same with Winner! Babies need to be extra protected now that things are finally working out!

        It’s also great to meet you Dianne :)!

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      4. OMG A FELLOW IC I AM SHAKING

        I don’t have IC mutuals because I’m too shy on Twitter and then I have no RL people to talk to about them too, except for my sister because she doesn’t have a choice. We live together so she hears all my WINNER-related anything. I’M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU HERE!

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      5. Hahaha, I’m the same! Twitter freaks me out in general, so yeah I stay away from that. And the only RL people which I know who like them, like them more casually? So I’m like always the one who is like hyper and everyone else is like “Oooooookay”…. πŸ™‚ But now WE CAN FANGIRL TOGETHER. If you like, I mean πŸ™‚ Gosh I’m really happy I went to your blog πŸ™‚

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