This post has been sitting in my drafts for so long I almost ended up not writing it because it’s not relevant to my headspace anymore. But when I was about to delete the draft, I felt sad (and mostly like I’d disappoint Jay because I told her I’ll write it) and now here we are, spouting possible word vomit. You’ve been warned. (Jay, you’ve been warned. Nothing fruitful in here.)
Last month, I got obsessed with this song. And by obsessed, I mean that this is the only song I’ve listened to for a week. A complete week (and more). It was on repeat every morning while I’m preparing to go to work, at work, and before I sleep. What can I say, obsessing is a talent of mine. Listening to one song that much led me to memorize its lyrics and with every listen, I always return back to the line “your love was handmade for somebody like me“.
I always find myself looking forward to the pre-chorus just so I can hear that line and I revel in it again and again. I keep thinking to myself: what a line. I’m the kind of person who can love a song because of the lyrics (not surprising as I love reading poetry). And I distinctly remember liking the beat of this song but I only really looked into it when I heard that line. (I am not updated with what’s playing on the radio and I didn’t have the time to listen to Ed Sheeran’s album in full so I haven’t yet, so that’s why I didn’t know this song. And yes, I had to be all defensive about it. I promise I’m quite pop-savvy!)
Okay, I’m taking too much time introducing or whatever it is I’m doing now that you might be bored by now. So I shall get to the point.
“Your love was handmade for somebody like me” made such an impact on me because it made me think of love languages. Are you familiar with it? Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book called The Five Love Languages where he discussed just that. According to him, those five are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. He says that every person has one primary love language and a secondary one, and that a person prefers the love language that they have in their partner.
This line struck me because I have seen a lot of couples break up (in real life and in Hollywood, HA) and they cite ~fundamental~ differences that couldn’t be overcome. And while I’m sure those differences could be religion or political beliefs (or if one is racist or sexist), I also believe that included in those differences would be their love languages. I’m not saying that couples that do not have the same love language couldn’t happen (because I also know a lot of those too) but as the resident soundboard of my friends, I always hear complaints and things they are working on between the two of them that are rooted in their love language difference. One isn’t as clingy (in other words, in need of quality time) as the other one. One wouldn’t give gifts or didn’t perform gestures when one thinks those are very important. And while some are able to get past those and get to a compromise or change their ways, most do not end well from what I’ve witnessed.
Which brings me back to the line. It’s already difficult to find someone you like but then to find someone you like with the same love language makes it all the more difficult. (I think? I actually don’t know anything since my romance knowledge, while vast, is more in theory from the books, films, and TV shows I’ve consumed, and not in praxis.) So, YAY YOU, person whose perspective is showed in Shape of You, for finding someone.
I don’t know how to end this because I’m just spouting off whatever I can think of, without an outline or any plan at all on what I was supposed to say. (And maybe this is why I didn’t write this post immediately. My subconscious could have known that I don’t have anything meaty to say.) So I guess I’ll just say what I think my love language is. (I could take the test but pfft, who has time for that? Obviously I have time for that since I’m already ~wasting~ my time babbling here.) It’s quality time, followed by acts of service. As for the couple in Shape of You, I think they have physical touch as their top one. HAHAHA