So we’ll piss off the neighbours

I tried to resist but there’s no denying it: I’m into this song now.

At first listen, I was like, WTF.

Then I kept hearing it on the radio. And every time I hear it, I’d go: I THINK I LIKE THIS SONG. Then I realize it’s Pillowtalk and I berate myself for it because I’ve already established that I didn’t like it. But I still mumble-sing along with it.

Yesterday, my officemate kept on singing an acoustic rendition of Pillowtalk with his guitar and I couldn’t deny it anymore that the song sounded great. (And my colleague has seriously yo-panties-gonna-get-wet mad singing voice and talent so maybe that didn’t help too.) So I tried listening to the song without the music video and VOILA, loved it. SO IT WAS THE MUSIC VIDEO ALL ALONG THAT MADE ME WTF ON IT. HAHAHAHUHUHU

So now, here I go, having it on repeat. Penance, I guess, for resisting it. Who am I kidding, it’s not penance if I’m enjoying myself.

Too rom and not enough com | Review: The Mindy Project Season 1


Last weekend, I finished the first season of The Mindy Project and I certainly did not expect that I will end up disappointed. Because:

  1. I loved Mindy Kaling’s books: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns) and Why Not Me?So it’s kinda safe to assume that I like Mindy’s humor and I find her inspiring too.
  2. I love Chris Messina as previously established. This is the major reason, probably 70% and the prior reason only cashes in 30%.

I never thought I’d find too much romance in a romcom-sitcom to be a negative point against it but here I am. I want my romcoms to be funny and The Mindy Project fails to make me laugh.

Moreover, it’s almost all about Mindy’s lovelife. I don’t feel like I fully got a look into her character even though the first season has 24 episodes. Girl, you’re a doctor. And while there have been few plot points regarding her practice, I feel like the show is still too skewed on her lovelife. And I don’t buy that she’s able to date that much, okay. There were so many guys! I sound so bitter here but I just can’t suspend my disbelief.

Sure, there are also female friendships and work relationships and work ethics but nothing grabbed me the whole of the first season. Which was majorly saddening because I never thought that I won’t love this show…

I also know that the title of the show is THE MINDY PROJECT so the focus is on Mindy but I just wish the other characters had more depth. It’s also weird how some possible plot points and/or relationships were not tapped yet. I feel like there were so many wasted opportunities?

I could forgive the show for not being able to make me laugh (ack, I haven’t written my post about Mozart in the Jungle, which is another case of this-is-not-funny-to-me) but it has to make me care. Or since it’s so full of romance, I should feel giddy from the romance of it all. Sadly, I don’t care and I only feel giddy because of Chris Messina (and the little bit with BJ Novak!) but not with the script or the plot. T_T

Ultimately, the more disappointing/disturbing aspect in this whole debacle of mine regarding THE MINDY PROJECT is that I still want to watch it because I WANNA GET TO MINDY’S ROMANCE WITH CHRIS MESSINA. And I even wanna get to the third season because I want to see how leaving Fox and being picked up by Hulu changed the freedom and thus, the liberties the show would take.

And so, I am destined to watch this show because I am putty with Chris Messina and he’s the freaking reason that I’m watching this (seriously, for the first two episodes, I squealed every time he was onscreen, which was ALL THE TIME) but I’m not interested in rushing it. In due time, in due time. Which sounds like never at this point. Gah. We’ll see!

Do your stuff

When asked why I’ve never had a boyfriend yet (and for the record, I hate being asked but I patronize them by actually replying seriously), I always say that I don’t think I need one as of the moment and so I don’t have one. And that when the time comes that I realize that I want one, then I’ll get a boyfriend. (Ha! As if it’s something I can get over the counter.) I’ve also recently realized that I’m TOO LAZY to date. So that’s another reason/excuse I tell people. I feel like, oh yeah, sure, a boyfriend sounds nice but hmm, it looks like so much work.

However, as of late, I’ve been searching for a constant – someone to talk to, to eat with, to watch movies with, and the like. Before, I’ve never had the need or want to have a single person to do all those with because I love doing all of that with different friends. I have friends I can drink with, to go to videoke with, to read and talk books with, to watch and talk movies and TV shows with, to go out with, yadda yadda. But in recent times, I get home to my apartment and all I want is to unload and share what happened during my day to someone that is not my sister or is not my best friend or a close friend. I’ve been wanting someone to go home to, not even in the physical sense of going home to that person, but just that FEELING of being home with that person. Of being chill and at peace. And I don’t even yearn for romantic emotions to be in the mix or even sexual attraction. I just need someone to talk to, who wants to hear my stories and who wants to share my company, either my real company or you know, through a screen. I need someone who thinks I’m worth his time talking to.

So that planted an idea in my mind that OKAY, maybe it’s time to have a boyfriend! But here’s yet another realization: I don’t think I can do it.

Last week, I met an old friend again and by old I mean he’s 40 or even 50+ years old, after two years. And quite fatherly or uncle-ly, he asked me if I have a ~special someone~ and I told him that nah, there’s no one. And while other people would ask me the annoying question of WHY, he didn’t even ask me. He just straight up told me that the problem with me is that I’m waiting for someone to come knocking and sweep me off my feet but that I gotta “DO YOUR STUFF” (hence the title). Where we just ended up laughing because seriously? Do your stuff? But the thing is, of course, he’s right. As much as I claim that I am now a cynic, deep down, I’m still a hopeless romantic. I don’t think guys should be the one to woo girls and all that but it’s just not in my character to be actively flirting with guys. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT OR HOW TO DATE, OKAY. It’s not in my system or I think it’s not in my system.

But how do I switch on whatever switch that is? My BFF and I have long posited that it’s not about how pretty you are but how approachable you are. But that’s it! I’m SOOOOOO approachable but I never give out any ~I’m interested in you~ vibes and so, everyone ends up a friend. HAHAHA

And that’s not even the most sobering (and saddening?) realization of all. Because I realized that I can do ~I’m interested in you~ vibes but I’m actually afraid of things getting real. I mean, if it’s one-sided, there’s nothing to fear. I can be interested in a guy and I can mentally date him HAHAHA. But if it’s real, then there’s something to fear. I feel like I can’t deal with ~real~ feelings and ~real~ expectations and gah, I’m getting hives just typing this.

SO WHAT’S MY POINT? I guess it’s that, it’s not that I’m lazy to date or whatever. It’s that, deep down, I am scared of feelings and emotions and expectations and ALL THE REAL THINGS. Yikes. And duh, I’m scared of getting hurt.

Please placate me and tell me this is normal (TO BE AFRAID) and that I won’t end up alone in this life. (Ha, I’ve already accepted that I might be alone in life because ever since, all I’ve really wanted is a kid. Heh, more like kids, if we’re being honest. I’ve never imagined having a husband (of course I’ve imagined but that was when I was young and immature) ever since I entered college. I’ve never dreamed of having a husband since I was a freshman in college. All I really want is a baby. AND MAYBE THAT’S A TELLING SIGN THAT HELLO I’M NEVER GONNA BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?!?!?!?1)

But the more pressing concern is: HOW DO I EVEN GET A BOYFRIEND? How do I make myself available and out there without leaving my home because I’m an introvert and socializing with strangers drains me?!?!?1 HAHAHA I guess the answer is I’m gonna be alooooooone kruu kruu

If I wanted someone like me, I’d hang out with myself

I mean, with lyrics like:

I don’t wanna be, with anybody else
If I wanted someone like me
I’d hang out with myself

Of course I love this song. Didn’t help that I was on a San Cisco streak this weekend (hello, first ever ukelele cover on my blog is of their song Beach) that this turned out to be my earworm.

Go check out this song and I love the rest of the lyrics but I recently resolved to not reposting the entirety of a song’s lyrics here in my blog. Hee.

Hello hello | Beach by San Cisco (Ukelele Cover)


Posting my first ukelele cover! It’s far from perfect (and I could have done better, I swear [NAH, I’m no better]) and you could even hear motorcycles rumbling in the background. I also blanked during the last verse of the song and that darn E chord won’t let me have it. I guess being in front of the camera made me extra nervous and faulty? Also, I’m not sure if my strumming pattern is correct but it’s my default strumming pattern for any 4/4 beat HAHAHA Anyway, I don’t have a great voice but I don’t care I love to sing and play my uke MWAHAHAHA

Also, don’t mind my room. It was once a storage room (still is) and I have to paint it but whatever, I don’t have time HAHAHA #akaimjusttoolazy

P.S. I’m wearing my Louis Tomlinson shirt hihihi

Tip-to-Tip Efficiency | Silicon Valley

My new favorite sitcom and basically what saved me from feeling down last January. Silicon Valley came recommended to me by people whose opinions I value (heh) so I immediately watched it and I never looked back! I’ve recommended it to a lot of people since then and they’ve been loving it too. I mean, duh, what’s not to love?

We have Jared bb 4eva Richard who strikes gold with his compression algorithm and it all started there for his app and start-up company, Pied Piper. Along with his friends/employees, they trudge along Silicon Valley trying to stay afloat and launch Pied Piper, battling (battling? What now, do we have swords?) with competitors and ALL KINDS OF CONFLICTS.

But seriously, Jared is the best thing about SILICON VALLEY. He’s my favorite character and just, I LOVE HIM.

The second season wasn’t as laugh-out-loud funny as the first season in my opinion because they’ve been dealing with real shit and the season was spent mostly in Conflict and even if they’ve had Triumphs, they were short-lived. But still, the joy those triumphs gave me.

Please please watch Silicon Valley! The finale to the first season is now in my sitcom episode Hall of Fame.

P.S. I love crude humor and if you do, coupled with nerdy humor, THIS IS IT.

I love cemeteries


I saw this view a lot back in Japan as we passed through this cemetery every time we got bored and went out of our dorms, which was all the time. Isn’t it beautiful? I love how solemn it is and yet it looks busy and chaotic. (Or maybe everything in Japan is just picturesque.)

Cemeteries have always had a calming effect on me. I actually live beside a cemetery and while many kids (and I guess even adults) fear and dread cemeteries, I never felt anything aside from peace from it. I used to go there when I was a kid and play with my friends. (Plot twist: my friends were ghosts! Hahaha kidding!)

Maybe having lived beside a cemetery, cemeteries in general make me feel at home or safe. I don’t know, that sounded weird but it’s kinda true.

How about you? How’d ya feel about cemeteries?

Just how much of a 1D fan am I?


Yeah. I buy shirts. I wear them. With these, I now have a total of FOUR 1D shirts and idc if you’re judging me right now. #ProjectUnapologetic2016

Yet another time Jack Gilbert slayed me


SUDDENLY ADULT by Jack Gilbert

The train’s stopping wakes me.
Weeds in the gully are white
with the year’s first snow.
A lighted train goes
slowly past absolutely empty.
Also going to Fukuoka.
I feel around in myself
to see if I mind. Maybe
I am lonely. It is hard
to know. It could be
hidden in familiarity.

The love of my life



I might be obsessed with our lab mice. I have loads of photos of them on my phone. Eeeekkkk