On being selectively social

I admit to being selectively social. Many of my ~friends~ wouldn’t believe me because they know me as THAT person who’s so talkative, noisy, fun, and game to whatever.

But see, that is a side of myself I switch on. When I go to bookish events, I turn that switch on. I become the jolly person I’m expected/known to be and I do feel happy with bookish people because they’re my people! But when I get home, I would need a break and be antisocial for a while.

When I’m with friends I made during high school, they’re never able to believe how the Dianne they know isn’t the Dianne of now. I drink (A LOT), I cuss (A LOT), and I am not the 24/7 effervescent person they know. They’re shocked to see me being a bitch or being mean or being dirty-minded. Sure, I’m still funny and fun to be with, but I’ve changed. And it’s kinda sad how I’m boxed into these expectations they have but I guess that’s normal. I changed a lot since high school and they just have to deal with it!

Getting back on topic…

More often than not, I love being alone, with my own company. I am that person who’d invent excuses just to get out of events I wanted to go to at some point in time but ultimately didn’t feel like going to. (I know! I’m bad!) My best friend have to drag me to social calls because I always flake on her. It’s just so tiring to have to be THAT person people know of because I’m not always like that. I guess it just goes to show that my ~true friends~ are the ones who know that I’m not THAT person. Nothing bad about being that kind of person but it’s just not me. Well, the real me.

I mean, I’d like to think I’m fun and funny and witty when I’m with my friends but my friends also know I’m grumpy, irritated easily, kinda mean, very judgmental in private, anxious, an overthinker, actually shy, and an introvert. And me deciding to spend my time with a person is a big deal because it means I actually prefer being in that person’s company than being alone.

When I hound you (either by texting or chatting or tweeting), it means I actually enjoy talking to you because I’d rather read a book, watch a movie/TV show, or browse the Internet than talk to people I don’t really enjoy talking to.

I guess I just wish people know all these meanings to even the littlest interactions I have with them so they can appreciate it.

So yes, I am social, but only to a select number of people. I kinda relate to these posts on being selectively social, although I think I might have been off-tangent at some parts of this post. WHATEVER, ‘TIS MY BLOG.

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On being selectively social

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